Sunday, May 3, 2015

PIVOT :: Adjusting 2015.

Well hey there. I almost didn't recognize ya there...I know. That's on me.

I'd like to blink my eyes and open them to see that I've been faithfully sharing my journey here...that I have written more than maybe three posts in 2015...that I haven't let the valleys of this year suppress my love for sharing in this type of fit community. But the truth stares me in the face on the other side of this blink. It's been a trying year so far and I've let it distract me from my goals, my determination, and my community.

Now before you go thinking this is a boo-hoo pity party post, let me assure you, I would NOT be posting if I had not found hope and perspective in all of it. If sharing this story of trial encourages one person, that's all I can ask.

The long story short-ish...
One sunny Sunday afternoon in January, I was headed home, when suddenly a giant hovercraft, in the form of a Honda Pilot, came crashing into my poor innocent Camry's backseat. While my confidence in Dallas drivers was at an all-time high (only Dallas-sites share my sentiments), I watched as they towed off my now totaled 13 year-old ole faithful CamCam. At that moment, I was forced to search for any feeling besides helplessness, not knowing how much this little crash would affect me for months to come...but also knowing that the Lord knew that crash was going to happen and was preparing me for many shifts in my life.
With a bad bout of whiplash (which I will hence forth never underestimate the significance of...EVER again) and some shoulder pain from the impact of my seat belt, I held off about 4 weeks before heading back to CrossFit in February. And within a week, I realized something was not right with my shoulder. Again, I walked away pretty unscathed from this wreck and was so thankful it wasn't worse, so I had no idea the possible lingering repercussions.

When Strep throat, a virus, and a sinus infection all took up residence with me in the first few weeks of March, I had made up my mind that 2015 had a personal vendetta out against Lisa Marie Sorenson and would stop at nothing to suck my joy and ensure I saw nothing of my Crossfit box or consistency in my weight loss journey with very evident consequences. 

It wasn't until just recently, with the end of April, that I finally got some concrete answers from an MRI showing that I have a partial insertion tear in my rotator cuff and some aggravation and tendonitis in my bicep from the accident (I won't pretend to really understand what he showed me on the screen but I've gathered the gist). Thankful for an answer and a not-so-terrible one at that, my heart still sank. My head spent the last 3 months somewhere between "I'll get back to Crossfit soon enough" and "oh woe is me, when will I get back to Crossfit". And now there is a reality that my journey to fit has to take on a different look. A different strategy. A different heart posture.

It was the very day that I took on the weight of my upsetting news, that I sat down in a coffee shop to prepare for that night's Bible study, drowning my sorrow in the Word with a giant side of French press. We've been studying James and learning of a genuine faith. As I read over the week's readings, I did a double and triple take as the words of James 5:11 resonated through my being.

"As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. 
The Lord is full of compassion and mercy."

I won't equate my trials to those of Job, but I do believe that God uses his story to bring comfort to those in trials, big and small, and to refine our hearts and minds to turn only to HIM for strength, endurance and expectation that HE is being glorified in it all. We are not promised sunshine and lollipops. We are promised there WILL BE trials, but; my Lord IS compassionate and merciful and IN CONTROL. Where my type-A, control freak side is screaming with weakness, He is made strong. 

It has taken the outpouring love and wisdom of several gospel-sound friends and loved ones to spur me towards the understanding that this shift in my life is in God's Will and, as long as I walk openly with Him in this, He will be glorified. He has interjected over and over again in this season, this year of 2015, and shown me where I can be pressing so much further into Him. 

So I press into this season as the first days of May come trickling in. I won't pretend this isn't taking a daily humbling and that I'm not having to strive for a desire to seek my fitness goals in other ways. I am positive my pride will take a hit when this once PR'ing push press girl will be doing simple movements with tiny weights in physical therapy starting this week. But with a community of support and a shiny new membership to the Addison Athletic club (swanky, I know), this girl is ready to continue her journey with a slight pivot (PIVOT). 

I've been perpetually reminded of the lyrics of a song from Elevation Worship, that seem so fitting and the chorus is such:

I will look up for there is none above you
I will bow down to tell you that I need you
Jesus, Lord of all
Jesus, Lord of all
I will look back and see that you are faithful
I look ahead believing you are able
Jesus, Lord of all
Jesus, Lord of All

While my circumstances are ever-changing. He is ever faithful, ever present, ever able. 

New strategy. Same Girl. Same Goals. Same journey. Same God.
Still Finding Fit,

OH and I promise to be more faithful in posting.

1 comment:

  1. Praying for the rotator cuff....both the one in your body and the one in your car!!! LOVE.

    PS Welcome back :)