What? Is that a little heavy of a start to this post? Welp, it's the truth and this is my story, full of those "heavy" moments in oh so many ways. Buckle up.
I grew up in a wonderfully supportive, loving and encouraging, Christ centered family environment and would not trade my amazingly crazy family for anything. But I do think the three Sorenson girls could have dealt without the weight. Literally.
With genetically slow metabolisms from the start, we were just always happy fat kids. I know how hard this had to have been on my very "normal" sized parents as they watched their daughters grow up; but, I have to say it didn't hold us back. Perhaps, that's why it took so long to find my way into a new healthy lifestyle ...there just wasn't much I felt held back from!
|Thank you Early 90's for the jewel tones and socks with loafers.|
|Senior Banquet with my beautiful (and noticeably smaller) parents, 2006|
|High School Graduation 2006 after singing our Alma Mater for our graduating class. Strike Em Rattlers.|
The Lord kept bringing me to a scripture through my prayers, through my friends, and through different experiences and convictions in my struggle with weight.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own, you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body"
I began sharing my struggle with friends and using it as a point of relation to friends who confided in me their own struggles. While I don't doubt the Lord created me to be empathetic and intentional with these friendships and relationships, I can now see that my struggle with obesity was a crutch, but not something I was willing to turn over to God and His sovereignty. "Rejoice in Hope, Be Patient in Tribulation, Be Constant in Prayer"...Romans 12:12 was another scripture ticker-taping through my brain as I tried to pray away my tribulations and those of my friends, whatever they were. But it wasn't God not hearing my prayers, it was me not leaving anything more than words at His feet.
Seeking the Lord's plan in every nook and cranny of my oh-so-defining college years, I could not understand why I could not just give this over to God and honor him in that surrender. But my selfish control and pride would not free me to His grace in my struggle with weight.
|Baylor Graduation, May 2010. Sic Em Bears.|
|August 2011 as I prepared to move to Dallas and leave my beloved, trainer, Byron.|
In the midst of a (very) busy life, I have found some of my greatest joy in pleasing God by treating my body as HIS temple. When I put good things into my body and push myself in the gym, I see results. But I see even better results when I do it for His Glory, knowing He has already overcome this for me.
Over the last 4 years, I have still seen ups and downs. I have had great wins, and hard defeats. I have fallen short and into food traps or social-life eating and drinking habits. I have completed numerous Paleo/Clean eating challenges. I have been through A LOT of clothing.
It's hard work and I sometimes buy into the satan's lies that it would just be easier to just be the big girl and not fight this. But my God is Greater, Stronger, and Higher than any other. He continues to meet me where I am, often with friendships and accountability to help me through, because He intends more for me than being the happy fat kid.
People ask what my goal is...there is no number...mainly because I don't even know what that looks like. But there is a hope that I can honor God, roll these successes up into praise to Him, inspire others to seek the same...and ya know, be really strong too.
This is my journey. My forever journey. And I'm thankful for it, even in the trials. This is my way of finding fit, in all the ways.
With a heart of gratitude (especially if you made it through the novel)